


You're My Everything

by Genie60



Category: Poldark (TV 2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 02:34:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7783444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genie60/pseuds/Genie60
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One Shot companion piece to "Do You Love Me?"</p>
<p>Ross' thoughts on the happenings at the end of Episode 5.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're My Everything

They had walked back from the closing of Grambler in silence.  There was nothing more to say. Francis had done exactly what Charles Poldark was afraid of: lost their family heritage and inheritance, disgraced the family name and had no immediate means to redeem himself.  While he felt some sympathy for Francis because he was weak, his real concern was for Verity and Elizabeth.  Even in this dark hour, she looked almost regal in her despair. She never once gave away that the future was uncertain.  Ross admired her strength even if it was an outward show for those in attendance because he knew that she was not made of the same resilience as the woman who sat in the other room with their daughter. 

He had observed once that they were the same yet different; porcelain and earthenware.  One made to be put on shelf for admiration and display; brought out only when necessary. The other strong and practical, made for the kind of life he had to offer; daily hard work, doing without and struggling to make ends meet.  It was instinct that drew him to Elizabeth this afternoon and he looked to Demelza for approval to go to her.  And she gave it as he knew she would because her heart was open and generous and she loved him.  He knew that. And perhaps at times, he played on that fact, much to his guilt. To ease that guilt, he would have to remember to thank her for letting him do what he felt needed to be done.

As he spoke to Elizabeth and she reassured him that they would find a way out of this circumstance, he felt a presence next to him.  He knew without turning it was Demelza but the look on Elizabeth’s face at her arrival was one he hadn’t seen before. Was it disappointment? Or perhaps even envy?  He couldn’t quite put a finger on it, but it was there. He wondered if Demelza saw it as well and he still mulled that over as they stood the cliff overlooking the now closed mine after everyone had gone.  Neither of them said anything about what had just transpired but he smiled and took her hand, sharing her hope that they would all rise again from their depths.  

Upon returning to Nampara, Ross had secluded himself in the library, trying to make sense of everything. Not just Francis’ predicament but also Elizabeth’s demeanor and his feelings for her.  He knew he didn’t love her anymore. The red headed urchin with the coltish figure had captured his heart and held it for almost a year.  He only just recognized it a few months ago, when at Christmas as she sang during the post dinner entertainment, she had declared her love for him through song.  It was this statement, made clearly and unashamedly in front of those who judged her that made Ross realize he loved her too. He didn’t know why it took so long or why he resisted the idea because it wasted the time past that they could have beenloving each other.  He knew that there was no use in regretting things that could not be changed.  He could, however, make sure that the future was not a repeat of the past.  He had a family to cherish and love and he vowed to do just that.  He knew that Demelza thought herself second best, falling in behind Elizabeth in his heart. But she was mistaken.  Since he brought her to Nampara she had worked her way into his life and more importantly his heart, slowly pushing Elizabeth to the outer edges of his soul.  With the birth of their daughter, any piece of his heart that he thought still belonged to Elizabeth was replaced by Julia. And he was grateful for that. 

As he sat in the library, quietly going through paperwork to prevent what happened at Grambler to happen to them, he thought he heard singing. The song was familiar but he couldn’t quite hear the words.  Getting up and going across the hall he heard his wife’s voice, singing to their daughter.  It was the song she sang at Christmas.  Standing by the parlor, he listened, careful not to make any noise as he wanted to enjoy this scene.  He peered through the slightly open door to see Demelza seated on the settee, her bodice open with Julia at her breast. Her cheeks were rosy and her red hair was slightly tangled from the wind they encountered on the cliff.  She was beautiful but her face revealed something other than the contentment it usually showed when she fed Julia. He thought back replayed snippets of the day.

As she finished singing to Julia, he heard her speaking to her softly.  He strained to understand what she said but he thought he caught her saying that she wondered if he would tell and show them the love he said he felt. Those words cut Ross to the core. Did she not really know all she meant to him? Why did she question his love for her?

 Earlier he had taken her hand when she asked if they would rise again, not because he thought she needed reassurance but because he did.  Since their hasty marriage, Demelza had become his strength without any effort.  He relied on her when his will faulted or when he felt self doubt such as he did at Christmas before they hit copper. Her unwavering faith in him was all he needed at times when he lost his.  So how could he not see that his need to comfort another man’s wife would hurt her to the core? 

_Of course you idiot_ , he thought.  _You go running to an old love while your wife stands staunchly by, letting you.  Brilliant work Poldark!_

Demelza had given without taking or asking for anything.  Until now, when all she wanted was her husband’s love; a small price in the great scheme of things because she deserved that and so much more. He listened some more and at her final statement to Julia, his heart ached not for himself but for the pain she must be feeling.  Unable to take it anymore he, slowly pushed the door open and walked towards his wife and child.  She did not acknowledge him at first but when she did look up he could see the tears in her eyes, ready to fall.  One did escape and he bent down to catch it brushing it away from her cheek with his thumb.  Looking at her, he searched her face, hoping she would see what he felt.

“No my love it is not too much to ask,” he said softly.  The recognition on her face that he had heard what she said caused her to blush.  She tried to explain but Ross stopped her.

“Sshh, Demelza. It’s alright.  You’ve every right to want and expect your husband to show is devotion to you and our child.  I’m sorry that you have not felt the love I have for you. But know this. I told you not to long ago that you redeemed me and I love you. Believe me that since that night, my love has only grown stronger and is so deep rooted in me that nothing I have experienced before compares.  And while I do feel some responsibility for Francis and Elizabeth as they are family, have no fear that Elizabeth poses a threat to us, our children, our family or our love.  You and I are bound, come what may.  Believe that my love.” 

She wept softly as he continued.

“I know I am brooding and moody and tender words don’t come as easily as harsh ones.  But you have changed me Demelza and for that you are everything to me.”

He returned the kiss she gave him with more passion than she had expected.  They settled back on the settee, glancing at their daughter and sat in quiet contentment, shutting out the world.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> On the brink of S2, I wondered what if Ross actually realized how much Demelza puts up with regarding his obsession. And that she has feelings too.
> 
> Just some random musings and wishful thinking that he actually wasn't tongue tied so much.
> 
> I own nothing except by energizer bunny imagination.


End file.
